Remember those moments when, out of anger, you wanted to scream loudly and tear to pieces the one who caused your anger? Or perhaps you were so angry with yourself that you wanted to break something? We all experience feelings of anger from time to time. This is the same natural and elementary human reaction as sadness, tears, love and joy. However, if the tantrums are getting worse and worse, it's worth worrying about.
People most often choose to deny that they have difficulty controlling their anger. In fact, anger itself is not a problem. As mentioned above, this is a perfectly healthy emotion, but it is very uncomfortable if you or others suffer as a result. You've probably heard hundreds of times that it's better to let out your anger than to keep it in yourself. While holding back anger is not always helpful, uncontrolled outbursts of rage are also not an option. This will only exacerbate an already significant problem.
Although you cannot control the circumstances in which you find yourself, you can definitely control your own reaction in these circumstances. Contrary to popular belief, anger management is not about anger suppression. Rather, it aims to help you better deal with your emotions, and it also provides methods to help you channel your anger in a beneficial way. Here are 10 ways to better deal with your anger:
10. Be on the lookout
The first step to managing anger: Learn to recognize the signs of an upcoming tantrum. Anger is a physical reaction in the body. A person does not "lose his temper" in an instant. The body gradually mobilizes its resources in preparation for a fight-or-flight situation. Learn to recognize warning signals.
This can be a pounding heart, sweaty hands, rapid breathing, trouble concentrating, clenched jaws, and the like. Once you recognize the signs, try to figure out why; sometimes the problem is not with what people say to your face or behind your back, but how you perceive it. Try to think over their words. You may be able to see the true meaning.
9. Acceptance
Once you recognize the warning signs, admit to yourself that you are annoyed. Denial is one of the most common mistakes people make when they are angry. If you pretend you are not angry, the problem will not go away.
It's always best to either admit your anger to yourself, or explain your condition to someone you are angry with. This will not only slow down your reaction, but it will also give you an opportunity to calm down.
8. Think seven times, say once
We all know very well how easy it is to say something in the heat of the moment. At times, we don't even realize how serious what we are about to say until we say it out loud. So it is imperative to keep your tongue in check. Verbal abuse is a serious crime and should not be taken lightly.
Better to be silent for a while. Collect your thoughts. Discard all offensive words and try to convey the cause of your anger to others as clearly as possible. The ability to control your words even in the heat of an argument will be appreciated.
7. Break
You may have watched parents ask their child to take a break when he is stubborn and angry for no reason. You know what? For adults, this also works. Sometimes the situation gets tense. You don't have to endure it. If you feel that the situation is getting too stressful for you, take time out.
Be alone for a while and think about the problem in a calm atmosphere. Silence is golden, and this is true a thousand times. Such a move will provide an opportunity to think about what happened and put thoughts in order.
6. Take it easy
So you have realized that you are angry. What's next? Do you want to add fuel to the fire, or do you still want to extinguish it? Outbursts of anger are accompanied by a rush of adrenaline, which can be addictive. It gives a false sense of power. But it also makes us say and do things that we usually regret later on.
So it's best to give yourself a chance to cool off before the fire breaks out. Chill your anger before it gets out of hand.
5. Find out the reason
Everything is clear enough here. Find out the reason for your anger. It may take a while (after all, anger is blurring your eyes, and you need to bring back clarity of thought first), but this will allow you to figure out if there is really a reason for irritation or not. This will also allow you to see the essence of the problem.
4. Don't hold a grudge
The worst thing you can do for yourself and for someone you are angry with is holding a grudge. This will mean that you are deliberately holding on to your anger, which you should have dealt with right away. It's unreasonable to expect everyone to behave the way you want them to. Forgiveness not only heals, but also provides a sense of peace. Don't let anger take root.
3. Look for the reason
So, you have figured out the cause of your irritation. Now it will be easier to find a solution to this problem. Try to resolve the conflict before moving on. It can be quite difficult, but trust me, you can surprise yourself. This way you can keep solving problems, but also forget about the annoyance!
2. Redirect anger
It's always best to channel your anger into a peaceful channel. By harming yourself or those around you, you will only feel worse. Learn to behave constructively when irritation rolls in. You can vent your anger through exercise.
Go to the gym or for a walk. Use whatever means you can to tone down your emotions. It's tempting to just let yourself loose, but try not to mess things up. Later you will only regret it.
1. Get help
If you really notice that your anger control problem persists and you are no longer able to deal with it on your own, then seek professional help. There is no shame in having recourse to a professional. That's what doctors are for! Your decision to seek help only shows how determined you are to deal with the problem. It will only benefit.
People nowadays know much more about behavioral problems that are usually hidden. If emotion management problems recur and you see a pattern - go ahead, try to deal with them! If you feel like you've made enough attempts and you still aren't happy with the outcome, try sharing your concerns with others. Talk to family and friends, and if necessary, talk to a professional. Only you can make your life better.
We recommend watching:
Veronica Stepanova will briefly talk about the causes of anger and how to manage it.
